Things

Just read “So Good They Can’t Ignore You” and it’s inspired me to be a little more deliberate with deciding what I want to get good at and also not wasting time doing useless shit. I want to be much more aware of trying to get better at something rather than just doing something a lot of times with the hope that I get better at some point. The point is I need to get out of my comfort zone in order to make progress. That is, whether we’re talking about physical or mental activity, there is gonna be some inherent reluctance to trying to go beyond. But I have to break that.

I’ve already kind of started doing this. First with the reading a book a week and then writing a review of the book. Writing for me has always been a monumental mental activity cause I suck at articulating my thoughts into words. But I hope that by going through this mental challenge that I’ll get better at it in the end. It also forces me to rethink and think a lot more about what I just read instead of just forgetting about it all after reading.

With rock climbing, I’m going to start trying to take more lessons and get evaluated by instructors to see where I can improve on. For the past few months I’ve just been doing my own thing and although I have gotten better, I’d like to get better faster. I wanna be a fucking bad ass rock climber.

With MovNat, I’m going to start being more strict about practicing and practicing and practicing especially the fundamentals which I am weakest at. That is, balancing, jumping, and crawling. I’m also gonna be more active with the Parkour community. Here, I think it’s just practice practice practice.

With teaching MovNat, I’m thinking maybe I should like try becoming an actual fitness trainer part time. I definitely am not getting enough exposure in practicing teaching fitness and it’s something that I’d like to be able to do well. And it’s always hard to do it with friends because teaching friends is sometimes awkward. Will have to look at this one.

In terms of programming, I think with joining this startup I’m going to start to really study different languages and web technologies. Maybe even contribute to some open source projects maybe. If I can find the time somehow…

In terms of music, I really wanna get good at piano and singing and then if possible, guitar on the side. I’m gonna try and start working on different songs which I’m not so familiar with and more uncomfortable with. I’ve been playing the same songs for the past 8 some yearsish haha I should start trying something different.

In terms of being more social, I’d say this is definitely the thing I need most work and practice on. I think for this I’m going to try and get into a difficult social situation every day. This scares the shit out of me but hey that’s the fun part. If it scares me then I know it’s out of my comfort zone.

These are the things I want to focus on I think. There’s so much more that I’m working on but these should be my focus haha. I mean fuck it, I just want to be fucking good at everything…and healthy and happy while I’m at it. I think the main thing is not to waste time cause I waste so much fucking time all the time. I don’t consider relaxing or chilling to be wasting time but the time I spend on Facebook and surfing the web aimlessly, that’s a freaking waste.

Voted!

I voted for the first time today! Something I should have been able to say 4 years ago especially since I was in Pennsylvania then. I’ve been pretty uninformed about the current election period which isn’t very good. But based on the few things I hear I’m voting for Obama. Not that it’s exactly gonna matter considering I’m from California.

I’m also becoming more convinced that income inequality is one of the root causes of the decline of health in America. I just read this really interesting book on stress and the science shows with little doubt that income inequality is a source of health degradation in a society. In poorer places with less income inequality, health and happiness is always greater. So the author says if you want to be healthy and live a long life make sure you have rich and successful parents because it is the #1 indicator of your future health. Kind of depressing right?

With this in mind, I’m definitely leaning more leftish now in terms of governments role in social and economic issues.

Not enough time!

There are so many things I want to do and get good at. There is just not enough time! Here are some things on my mind that I want to get really good at:

  1. Client/server technologies. Specifically the ones for the startup I’m about to join.
  2. Krav Maga
  3. MovNat and teaching it
  4. Working on Uncommon Coder project
  5. Tai Chi
  6. Skydiving
  7. Reading
  8. Socializing/meeting new people
  9. Guitar/Piano/Singing
  10. Dancing
  11. Meditation
  12. The Burning Man culture
  13. Blogging
  14. Eating well
  15. Rock climbing
  16. Parkour
  17. Free diving
  18. Travelling
  19. Making myself laugh

See, those are just the things that come to mind at the moment. I’ve been actively trying to actively pursue these instead of doing the time wasting things I usually do. I find that I just don’t have enough time to get into all these. Most of my time is spent at work these days in front of a computer. Time management is probably key here and also a willingness to just do.

Let’s do it to it.

 

Life changing weekend for me

So this past weekend I went with a friend I met on zimride to the Lunacy music festival down in Santa Barbara. It’s a 4 day, 3 night event where we camp out with a bunch of the festival goers. It’s very burning man like in that it is just a congregation of super open minded and crazy people. For me though it was pretty much a life changing weekend.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so insecure in an environment in my life before. But being surrounded by people who seemed so comfortable with themselves and not showing a bit of insecurity was very intimidating to me. I always found very confident people to be intimidating. Maybe it’s a jealousy thing or something I dunno.

But in terms of meeting new people and being open in expressing themselves with no insecurity, these guys were way way way ahead of me. And the thing is that’s where I want to be at some point. Being in that state of no fear in being who you are, just being in peace and happy.

I thought I was getting pretty good at being comfortable but I’ve been hanging around the same types of people. I wouldn’t say engineers are the most self-assured confident people in the world. But going in that environment made me realize all of the insecurities I still have. It just brought it out.

So yeah, the weekend was definitely not the funnest or comfortable time of my life but I learned a hell lot about myself and I know what I need to work on. I’m also quite intrigued by this whole hippyish/burning man culture, I dunno what you call it. I want to emerse myself more and more in it.

So many things are changing in my life right now. Man, I’m excited.

First Amazon.com Review!

So I’ve recently undergone a mission to read atleast one book a week. It’s something I want to do to learn more about the world. I know I’m missing out on so much when I don’t try and actively seek out information/advice from others. I’ve also just become so interested in so many things recently and I’ve also become way more proactive in just doing stuff.

So the first book I read was Defining Decade which was about the transition between being in your 20’s to becoming 30. I won’t bother you with a review here because I wrote one on Amazon!

I think I’m going to be writing these reviews from now on. Writing things on such a public forum will be a first for me and hopefully I get better but it also helps me absorb the material as I have to really think about what I read before posting a review online.

Next book I’m currently reading is The Flinch, which is about overcoming that thing inside you that scares you from doing the things you really want to do. I also have other books on Stress and Body Language which I’m interested in reading. I’m excited!

Things to work on

It’s come to my attention recently that I absolutely suck at doing goodbyes after any kind of social interaction. They always seem to end very awkwardly unless the other person knows what they’re doing and takes over the say goodbye part. So new thing to work on: getting the goodbyes to be less awkward.

Part of the problem I think is that I am still insecure about the whole touching other people thing: handshakes, hugs, whatever, it’s still something my head is always hesitant about. So another new thing to work on: be more comfortable with touching.

Looks like this blog entry is gonna be about things I need to work on. Here’s another one: be more open to expressing my feelings. I still find it often that I keep things inside instead of freely expressing what I feel. This stems I think because of a fear of rejection or being judged. Yes, it does feel safer keeping those emotions in, it prevents me from growing as I believe growing in the end is about becoming less afraid and more free in this life.

So fuck you rejection, I’m not afraid of you!

facebook and time

I have a couple of new ideas. I’ve found myself recently getting sucked in by the internet again and wasting time checking facebook, and surfing the web, but really mostly facebook. I just have to check it like every so often when I’m stuck with nothing to do. It’s just my first reaction but not one that I’d like to continue as a habit. So I uninstalled facebook from my phone today. I think at some point I want to get rid of the smartphone overall. I really don’t think it adds too much value to my life besides giving some convenience. I’d like a downgrade please 🙂

Also, I’ve been thinking that my life is so tied to the current time. Why is it? Do I really need to eat food around 12pm or can I just eat when I feel hungry. The idea of absolute time consumes a lot of my mind space I found. As in I am always trying to find what the current time is and adjust my behavior based on this information. Why should it be like that? So I wanna try and be as less reliant on the clock time as possible. Wake up with the sun, sleep when I’m tired, eat when I’m hungry, etc. etc.

Obviously we are in a modern world and hitting deadlines and stuff is just a thing of reality. But I’d like to be much more less reliant on it in my everyday habits. Absolute time really in the end doesn’t matter anyway right? It’s one’s experience during that time. Some people lead amazing short lives which may feel like an eternity of joy whereas some people lead long, boring lives where not much is experienced. Time really in the end doesn’t matter. Well, let me restate: Time in the end should not be the end goal.

That said, it’s time for me to get off the internet and living life!

Mornings and Vani’s book

I need to do something more useful in my mornings. The first few hours of the day are when I have the most will power and when my mind is freshest. Lately I’ve been meditating right when I get up but then after that I just get in the car and go right to work. I think I should be doing the most difficult tasks in the morning. For me, that would be learning tagalog. Maybe start learning tagalog in the morning?

I also need to stop being online on the computer when I don’t need to. From now on I think I’m gonna be doing all my computer related needed stuff during the work day when I have to be on the computer anyway. After work, I’ll do my best to stay off the computer. It’s just such a waste of time.

So I’ve been reading my little sister’s book and although it started off slow it’s actually starting to become interesting now. I would say though that a lot of what’s going on seems kind of unrealistic and the main character is kind of a depressed bummer always overanalyzing every situation it seems. But I’m kind of curious how Ivana will develop this character. I have to say I couldn’t write what she did when I was her age. Hell, I dunno if I could do anything like that today lol.

Mindfulness

I was driving to my friend’s place today in a sort of stressed mood. I had a long day at work and there were just different things on my mind. I was trying to get out of that stressed mood but just couldn’t. I couldn’t seem to relax myself like usual. Then I found the trick: focus on the present. Forget all the things that are clogging my mind and be mindful of my surroundings and the things I can sense with my senses. I then saw the beautiful mountains and the beautiful colors of the sky and I was automatically at peace again.

I think in today’s modern life we have so much shit going on in our heads that we are rarely ever mindful of what is actually going on around us in the real world anymore. It doesn’t help when you are a programmer working in a virtual world for most of the day. But this is something I want to really work on: the idea of being always mindful. It makes life so much more interesting, indeed life isn’t the stuff that occurs in our heads it’s the experience we live through every single present moment. And being aware of that I think is very important.

I’ve also realized that although this is something I have become aware of it still needs practice to do. I’ve been pretty much mindless for most of my life I think and so it takes practice to really be mindful if I want my brain to readjust to this new way of thinking.

I think Buddha or some other enlightened dude after many days of contemplation found that the source of human suffering was due to our attention. Where we place our attention can make all the difference between happiness and unhappiness. We can either keep our attention on bad memories or stressful things or we can shift it to the reality of the present.

 

Too much food…

Oh man I just ate so much food. Coming back from a pretty fun MovNat workshop today I was kind of hungry. So I ate a pound of grassfed (obviously) beef, 6 sweet potatoes, 4 eggs, and a whole package of kale and now my stomach is about to explode! Will definitely need some time to digest all this food before I sleep. It is definitely the most healthy thing I’ve eaten this whole past week.

The MovNat workshop I gave today went fairly well. A lot of people I tried to get to come couldn’t make it but I still had a healthy five new people come today. I think I’m getting better at articulating ideas although I can tell I’m still sort of awkward in some of the descriptions I give. But more practice will make me better 🙂

So I think I’ve been thinking too much about what I should write on this blog instead of just writing stuff that is already in my head. Must stop doing that. Point of this anyway is to just get any thoughts I have into writing. Why? Maybe to practice articulating thoughts and also it’s interesting to see what’s in my mind instead of coming up with some artificial topic to always talk about.

So for the past couple of months I’ve been thinking about technology and it’s role in society/humanity. Getting into the whole paleo/natural lifestyle had me very disillusioned about tech, maybe I still am. There are several problems I have with technology. One is that everyone seems to have this implicit idea that technology can save us from anything. Instead of curing diseases from their root cause I feel like we’re just using tech to fix the symptoms. So much tech today is created to fix a problem created by tech in the first place.

Also I feel like technology in the end serves to make our lives more convenient and comfortable. The weird thing though is that these do not equal happiness. In fact, I find more happiness when I am more inconvenienced and more uncomfortable. Or maybe I’m just weird but I’ve found freedom when I don’t have a cellphone on to bother me all the time.