Life changing weekend for me

So this past weekend I went with a friend I met on zimride to the Lunacy music festival down in Santa Barbara. It’s a 4 day, 3 night event where we camp out with a bunch of the festival goers. It’s very burning man like in that it is just a congregation of super open minded and crazy people. For me though it was pretty much a life changing weekend.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so insecure in an environment in my life before. But being surrounded by people who seemed so comfortable with themselves and not showing a bit of insecurity was very intimidating to me. I always found very confident people to be intimidating. Maybe it’s a jealousy thing or something I dunno.

But in terms of meeting new people and being open in expressing themselves with no insecurity, these guys were way way way ahead of me. And the thing is that’s where I want to be at some point. Being in that state of no fear in being who you are, just being in peace and happy.

I thought I was getting pretty good at being comfortable but I’ve been hanging around the same types of people. I wouldn’t say engineers are the most self-assured confident people in the world. But going in that environment made me realize all of the insecurities I still have. It just brought it out.

So yeah, the weekend was definitely not the funnest or comfortable time of my life but I learned a hell lot about myself and I know what I need to work on. I’m also quite intrigued by this whole hippyish/burning man culture, I dunno what you call it. I want to emerse myself more and more in it.

So many things are changing in my life right now. Man, I’m excited.

First Review!

So I’ve recently undergone a mission to read atleast one book a week. It’s something I want to do to learn more about the world. I know I’m missing out on so much when I don’t try and actively seek out information/advice from others. I’ve also just become so interested in so many things recently and I’ve also become way more proactive in just doing stuff.

So the first book I read was Defining Decade which was about the transition between being in your 20’s to becoming 30. I won’t bother you with a review here because I wrote one on Amazon!

I think I’m going to be writing these reviews from now on. Writing things on such a public forum will be a first for me and hopefully I get better but it also helps me absorb the material as I have to really think about what I read before posting a review online.

Next book I’m currently reading is The Flinch, which is about overcoming that thing inside you that scares you from doing the things you really want to do. I also have other books on Stress and Body Language which I’m interested in reading. I’m excited!

Mornings and Vani’s book

I need to do something more useful in my mornings. The first few hours of the day are when I have the most will power and when my mind is freshest. Lately I’ve been meditating right when I get up but then after that I just get in the car and go right to work. I think I should be doing the most difficult tasks in the morning. For me, that would be learning tagalog. Maybe start learning tagalog in the morning?

I also need to stop being online on the computer when I don’t need to. From now on I think I’m gonna be doing all my computer related needed stuff during the work day when I have to be on the computer anyway. After work, I’ll do my best to stay off the computer. It’s just such a waste of time.

So I’ve been reading my little sister’s book and although it started off slow it’s actually starting to become interesting now. I would say though that a lot of what’s going on seems kind of unrealistic and the main character is kind of a depressed bummer always overanalyzing every situation it seems. But I’m kind of curious how Ivana will develop this character. I have to say I couldn’t write what she did when I was her age. Hell, I dunno if I could do anything like that today lol.

Too much food…

Oh man I just ate so much food. Coming back from a pretty fun MovNat workshop today I was kind of hungry. So I ate a pound of grassfed (obviously) beef, 6 sweet potatoes, 4 eggs, and a whole package of kale and now my stomach is about to explode! Will definitely need some time to digest all this food before I sleep. It is definitely the most healthy thing I’ve eaten this whole past week.

The MovNat workshop I gave today went fairly well. A lot of people I tried to get to come couldn’t make it but I still had a healthy five new people come today. I think I’m getting better at articulating ideas although I can tell I’m still sort of awkward in some of the descriptions I give. But more practice will make me better ūüôā

So I think I’ve been thinking too much about what I should write on this blog instead of just writing stuff that is already in my head. Must stop doing that. Point of this anyway is to just get any thoughts I have into writing. Why? Maybe to practice articulating thoughts and also it’s interesting to see what’s in my mind instead of coming up with some artificial topic to always talk about.

So for the past couple of months I’ve been thinking about technology and it’s role in society/humanity. Getting into the whole paleo/natural lifestyle had me very disillusioned about tech, maybe I still am. There are several problems I have with technology. One is that everyone seems to have this implicit idea that technology can save us from anything. Instead of curing diseases from their root cause I feel like we’re just using tech to fix the symptoms. So much tech today is created to fix a problem created by tech in the first place.

Also I feel like technology in the end serves to make our lives more convenient and comfortable. The weird thing though is that these do not equal happiness. In fact, I find more happiness when I am more inconvenienced and more uncomfortable. Or maybe I’m just weird but I’ve found freedom when I don’t have a cellphone on to bother me all the time.

I’m Back

Long time no post! Miss me? What can I say I’ve just been super busy lately doing crazy/amazing/dumb/insane things. Family just visited from CA and now that they left I’m back to normal life and I thought I would do a little life planning again.

I wrote down a bunch of goals near and long term. One of these was to write in my blog daily again. So much is happening in my life these days that it would be nice to spend some time and sit down and just write about whatever is in my head. Also I have a feeling that the next few months are gonna be crazy in terms of life changing, transforming to who knows what.

So I’m gonna blog to capture it all. No need to edit or anything like that. Just full on free flowing mind dumping. Maybe this will be interesting to read maybe not. But it’s main purpose now is for myself. I think you can figure out a lot of things when you have to vocalize it and put it into words.

Anyway, family just left after visiting CA for like a week. I can honestly say my siblings and family in general are some of the coolest people I know. It was just fun hanging out and then realizing that everyone is getting older and more mature. It’s fun now that we’re past that *hate each other* phase I think all siblings go through. They left early this morning and I miss them already. Maybe another year till I see them again? Who knows.

Parkour Jam

So I went to my first parkour jam today in San Jose. ¬†Before I’ve just been going to beginner lessons. ¬†Here are some of my thoughts from my day out:

1) Everyone is so strong/skilled.¬† It was very humbling. ¬†Pretty much everyone I met were just really damn skilled and I was really surprised at the amount of talent they displayed. ¬†And not just talent but strength as well. ¬†A lot of people were doing muscle ups like they’ve been doing it their whole life. ¬†I tried and only caused massive damage to my hands :P. ¬†I definitely have to get much stronger.

2) There is a joy in just going from place to place doing your thing. ¬†It’s so fun just going around a city like San Jose and finding random places to do parkour. ¬†We started at a parking lot then went to a city playground then a school playground then in front of city hall then on college campus then on college dormitories. ¬†I love it! ¬†All the while doing some cool parkour moves.

3) I still suck at certain social situations. ¬†I could definitely tell today. ¬†I’m a lot better in meeting new people but I still suck at meeting large groups of people. ¬†Especially groups of people who already know each other. ¬†I feel like I definitely stiffened up. ¬†Blech.

4) Parkour vs. Movnat. ¬†So I enjoyed the whole experience today with parkour but I have to say that I am definitely more attracted to Movnat’s philosophies. ¬†I feel like too much of parkour is showing off and a lot of the movements are just done to be cool rather than actually being the most efficient way of moving. ¬†Movnat on the other hand is all about efficient movement for practicality. ¬†There are no flips or hand stands in movnat simply because when are such things actually practical? ¬†Yes, they are a cool feat of strength and skill but movnat to me is more pure. ¬†Having said that, parkour and movnat have a lot of striking similarities. ¬†I’m sure everyone that was in today’s jam would have no trouble doing movnat things.

Spring Break

Just came back from a fun four day spring break in San Diego.  We got this amazing apartment overlooking the ocean.  Unfortunately the weather was not so great most of the time.  Besides eating too much and drinking too much here are some things I found during the trip:

1) running barefoot, shirtless on the beach with the sun is amazing!  I did this one morning when everyone was still asleep.  The sense of freedom and happiness is unlike anything else.

2) I kind of got over my fear of heights.  So our apartment was 8 stories high and had a nice balcony.  At first I was hesitant to be near the edge.  By the end of the trip though I was comfortably hanging my legs off the edge.

3) My tolerance for cold is so much better now. ¬†I think it’s the cold showers I’ve been doing. ¬†Whereas most people were freezing I had no trouble going into the cold ocean. ¬†Such a great feeling too.

4) Some people will just never appreciate good music ūüôā

5) It seems to me that most everyone is so motivated to make a lot of money. ¬†That’s what a bunch of our conversations revolved around. For me though, for some reason money is usually the last motivation for me. ¬†I have no motivation to be rich or to own a big house or a boat.

The Most Beautiful Song I’ve Ever Heard

Today I heard the most beautiful song played in a live concert I’ve ever heard. ¬†It was The Shin’s New Slang¬†song.

It’s been an emotional two days for me for a couple of reasons and this song, with it’s message, the Shin’s perfect delivery, and the warm beautiful night in Austin right next to the river made it the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard and it hit me hard. ¬†The song reflected all of my sadness, all of my doubts, and all of my insecurities. ¬†But at the same, it¬†also reflected my hopefulness and the fact that life moves on. ¬†It’s such a sad and beautiful song. ¬†Performed at the perfect time/place. ¬†I know I won’t ever forget their performance.

Close call on the slopes

Aaahh, it’s been a month since my last blog. ¬†Sorry! ¬†I’ve just been super super busy. ¬†I’ll have to write a post on all my recent shenanigans but not now. ¬†I just went through a nearish death experience…

I was out skiing in Tahoe when I lost control and started skiing backwards.  I started going downhill until I fell back and my head hit a rock.  Thank god I was wearing a helmet!  The helmet absorbed the whole shock and the only thing I got was a bruised back and arm.

And I was this close to not wearing a helmet until my friend convinced me otherwise.  Thank goodness.  It felt good to be alive afterwards with only a few bruises.  Close call!

Lesson is clear.  Always wear a helmet, boys and girls.

Socal trip

So last weekend I went on a trip to socal on my own. ¬†I was signed up for the socal super spartan race but I couldn’t find anyone to do it with so I said to heck with it I’m gonna try couchsurfing and ridesharing! ¬†Get to meet new people and also make my trip as cheap as possible. ¬†In the end it turned out to be one of the funnest weekends I’ve ever had and the fact that I went and did it all on my own made it that much more rewarding.

I went down to socal with this chinese dude who was visiting his girlfriend.  We had some interesting conversations about life, diet, and other stuff.  I dropped him off at anaheim and that was that.

I then met up with my host for couchsurfing in some no name city called Murietta.  One of the coolest/chillest guys I ever met.  I went with him and his friends to a bar that night and just chilled.  Made my first couchsurfing experience really comfortable and fun.  I then was able to sleep at his place for free.  What more can I ask for?  We had a bunch of conversations about music and also life in general, where we were and where we plan on going.

On my way back I carpooled with this girl going back to Santa Cruz for school. ¬†It was so cool because we both had pretty much the same exact music taste so no arguments there! ¬†I don’t think I’ve ever met a stranger who had such similar tastes. ¬†Anyway had bunch of interesting convos too. ¬†Made the ride back so much easier and fun.

Overall, it was one of the sickest and more memorable trips ever. ¬†I’m definitely gonna do more ridesharing/couchsurfing and I’m so getting good at this travelling on my own thing. ¬†Also, I’m so much more comfortable chilling with new people and open to meeting new peeps. ¬†I like it ūüôā