No More Bullshit

So my college roommate, Karl, has been chilling around in CA with me and a bunch of other friends this past weekend. It’s been fun.

The other day an interesting situation came up. So I’ve been telling people how I’ve started doing meditation. There are a couple of ways to do it but the way I’ve been practicing is by picking a word and saying it constantly in my head and focusing on that word.

Now the interesting situation that came up the other day was after I had done some meditating Karl asked me what word I used. For some weird reason I was kind of embarassed by the word I used so I said that I used the word “one”, which is the standard word to use in the books I read. When I said that though Karl said “No you don’t”, I was like “huh? yeah, it is”. He then said, “I can tell by your facial expressions that that’s not true”.

Damn, it’s crazy how easily people can tell whether you are bullshitting or not. We can pick up all those tiny, subtle body gestures that let’s us translate “yes, this guy/gal is bullshitting”. I know I can tell when some people are lying. So yeah Karl, you fucking got me.

Which brings up another point: why the hell do I still lie about stupid shit like this? I’ve been trying to get rid of the bullshit in my life and yet I am still a source of it. There are some secrets that I don’t open up because it may cause a social raucus. But this is just stupid. I was just afraid of the embarassment of the word I use. I wonder why. Maybe it’s because it’s personal and I’m opening myself up to ridicule or judgement. I didn’t realize I’m still that insecure about things about myself. Either way, there’s no point in lying. I could have just said, “I don’t want to say”.

So from now on I’m going to make a more active effort to being open and honest. No more bullshit.

So you’re now probably wondering what the word I use to meditate with 🙂 The books say that you should use a word that calms you down and that you highly associate with. Also, it should be one syllable. So I use the word: LOVE 🙂

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